Comedy of Rules

Indian audience quite easily accepted comedians from across the border as long as their comedy was funny. Pakistani stand-up comedians Irfan Malik and Ali Hasan have regaled audiences this side of the border on the TV show "Great Indian Laughter Challenge"

But apparently the rules of army are not sympathetic towards comedy and more prone to weigh towards security. So the two artists who were scheduled to entertain some soldiers and civilians at an army cantonment, near Bhopal, the army rules came in the way.

Because Indian rules do not allow Pakistani nationals inside army bases, however benign the aliens are.

The soldiers accepted the boring night with grit and discipline. The civilans too accepted the laughter less fate. As for Ali Hasan and Irfan Malik, they had nothing to complain either as the fees was already paid. 

Chuntnefication of Queen's Language

350 million Indians speak Hinglish as a second language, exceeding the number of native English speakers in Britain and the US. So is there a possibility of Hinglish ever becoming global lingua-franca? 

You might have heard your unlettered domestic help saying, "Madamji, kaam ki bohot tension hai," or your friend exclaim, "I have hazaar things on my mind right now." Hinglish is widely used in informal communication among people and as formal communication when it comes to films and advertisements. And now Indian expertise in writing computer software helps spread the language faster.  As more Indians talk in chat rooms and send emails, the phrases and words they use to describe their lives are being picked up by others on the internet. Of course, Hinglish contains many words and phrases that Britons or Americans may not easily understand, but recall even the British in the raj era had adopted words like 'pukka' and now they are adopting newly coined, 'time-pass', and 'mast life' and 'super-duper'. 


The thing is language changes and evolves. A puritan may squirm at the prospect of English changing to Hinglish, but then even a staunch puritan bole toh cannot speak like Shakespeare.


So Mamu, here have some Hinglish jokes. 


Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.


And one more 


Hi! I am sardar,
this is my sardarni,
he is my kid,& she is my kidney. 


Rita Kothari and Rupert Snell comes out with a book on the phenomenon of this new English. Called 'Chutnefying English'  the book examines this new language as it evolves around us, spoken by millions. The book takes a serious look at this popular form of urban communication. Through Essays collected over a conference on the subject earlier, the book gives a nice glimpse to the myriad aspects of an evolving language. 

Honest Man of the Year

Khushwant Singh's name is bound to go down in Indian literary history as one of the finest historians and novelists, a forthright political commentator, and an outstanding observer and social critic. In July 2000, he was conferred the "Honest Man of the Year Award" by the Sulabh International Social Service Organization for his courage and honesty in his "brilliant incisive writing." At the award ceremony, the chief minister of Andhra Pradesh described him as a "humourous writer and incorrigible believer in human goodness with a devil-may-care attitude and a courageous mind."

So what is the secret of the man's sense of humour that remains alive even at 98!.
The “dirty old man of Indian journalism”, revealed recently his tricks of Life Sutra, in his Deccan Herald column.
1) If you cannot play a game or exercise, get yourself a nice massage once if not two times a day. Not a greasy oil massage, but powerful hands going all over your body from skull to toes.
2) Cut down on your intake of food and drink.  Maintain a strict routine for intake of food. Use a stop watch if necessary. Guava juice is better than any other fruit juice
3) Forget ragi malt. A single peg of single malt whisky at night gives you a false appetite. Before you eat dinner, say to yourself ‘Don’t eat much’.
4) Eat one kind of vegetable or meat, followed by a pinch of chooran. Eat alone and in silence. Idli-dosa is healthier and easier to digest.
5) Never allow yourself to be constipated. Keep your bowels clean by whatever means you can: by lexatives, enemas, glycerine suppositories.
6) Keep a healthy bank balance for peace of mind. It does not have to be in crores, but enough for your future needs and possibility of falling ill.
7) Never lose your temper.
8) Never tell a lie.
9) Cleanse your soul, give generously. Remember you cannot take it with you. You may give it to your children, your servants or in charity.
10) Instead of whiling your time praying, take up a hobby: like gardening, helping children.
Bonus suggestion: If you can afford it, get yourself some nice genes.

Who is reading Virginia Woolf

The 2003 film on Virginia Woolf - THE HOURS had regenerated a lot of interest in the writer who has never been read as mush she was discussed.

Nicole Kidman as Virginia Woolf

Woolf had begun to to write professionally in 1900, initially for journalistic pieces about  Haworth and Bronte family. Her first novel, The Voyage Out, was published in 1915 by her half-brother's imprint, Gerald Duckworth and Company Ltd. But from the very begining of her career, Woolf had to face various types of criticism. Woolf's work was criticised for epitomising the narrow world of the upper-middle class English intelligentsia. Some critics judged it to be lacking in universality and depth, without the power to communicate anything of emotional or ethical relevance to the disillusioned common reader,weary of the 1920s . She was also criticised by some as an anti-Semite, despite her being happily married to a Jewish man. This anti-semitism is drawn from the fact that she often wrote of Jewish characters in stereotypical archetypes and generalisations, including describing some of her Jewish characters as physically repulsive and dirty.

But none of the above mentioned facts were responsible ever for her sales. She had sold all through the 20th century. But these days very few readers read Woolf. This is because of the language and the strange literary style called 'internal monologue' that she and James Joyce (author of Ulysess) had started.

In literary criticism, stream of consciousness or internal monologue is seeks to portray an individual's point of view by giving the written equivalent of the character's thought process either in a loose interior monologue, or in connection to his or her actions. Stream-of-consciousness writing is usually characterized by associative leaps in syntax and punctuation that can make the prose difficult to follow. Stream of consciousness and interior monologue are distinguished from dramatic monologue, where the speaker is addressing an audience or a third person, which is used chiefly in poetry or drama. In stream of consciousness, the speaker's thought processes are more often depicted as overheard in the mind (or addressed to oneself); it is primarily a fictional device. The term was introduced to the field of literary studies from that of psychology, where it was coined by philosopher and psychologist William James.

This style is gradually losing its apeal in a fast moving world of today. It is would not be a surprise, if in future Woolf is remembered more for the way she was portrayed by Nicol Kidman in the hollywood flick rather than her original books once well read in the university campuses.

Beygairat Brigade

Beygairat Brigade's (Shame Brigade) is the name of a new band of Pakistani pop singers. The band consists of three singers who dress like school boys and sing without much accompaniment. Yet the songs have bvecome popular on the net and gone viral through Youtube.

The song’s popularity can be attributed to its risky content that make almost unguarded references to controversies surrounding the Pakistani military, including the unprecedented extension of army chief Gen. Ashfaq Parvez Kayani’s term last year.In another part of the song, Malik Mumtaz Qadri, the Islamist former security guard who earlier this year shot dead Salmaan Taseer, the governor of Punjab province, is described as being treated like a “royal,” while Ajmal Kasab, the only surviving gunman involved in the 26/11 Mumbai attacks, is a “hero most loyal.” The singer also holds a poster that says “this video is sponsored by ZIONISTS,” a humorous reference to a common paranoia that Israel is behind anti-Pakistan propaganda. 

Yet the authorities in Pakistan must be applauded for not cracking down on the band this time, though there had been quite a good deal of provocations. This perhaps a sign of how the new age internet based publicity can often put powerful men in the establishments in a fix. Much before Pakistani administration could do much, came a report on The Economist. Its said that "Pakistanis thrilled over a music video, available online, in which young singers poke fun at politicians, army chiefs" ^.The New York Times said that the song "takes a tongue-in-cheek swipe at religious extremism, militancy and contradictions in Pakistani society", "as a rare voice of the country’s embattled liberals." and that it "delivers biting commentary on the current socio-political mileiu of the country", and "rues the fact that killers and religious extremists are hailed as heroes in Pakistan".

so who are the Band members Ali Aftab Saeed, Daniyal Malik and Hamza Malik plan to do next. Some more 'begairati' perhaps.